we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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