my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
