i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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