i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
