good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
