That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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