My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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