this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
