I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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