I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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