Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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