The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
