who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
