I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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