I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
