girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
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why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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