bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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