We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
