i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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