What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
