Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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