Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
