I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
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