plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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