covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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