Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
