Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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