I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize