I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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