I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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