How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
