I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
