please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
