and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
