someone threw a dead crab at me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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