I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
