THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize