exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
