It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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