My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize