Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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