Little spoons don't ask big questions
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
