GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the condom got lost in my hair
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
