Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize