At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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