I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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