Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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