I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
