I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
