Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
