can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize