no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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