I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize