She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
